What If I Believe Too Much?
Lyrics of Conviction
What if I believe too much? That you would love me ever. Even if I went astray. Wander through the darkest caves. Not far enough from your reach. Black to white there’s nowhere lost. And you won’t lose me. What if I have steadfast trust? That you would call me always. Stalking never tiring of reaching for my hand. Even when I slink away. Selfish, angry sad alone. You can’t reject your faithfulness even if I do. That I know. About you. What if I don’t sing your songs? Or call your name. Or tell your tale. It would still resound as truth. You never wanted me to set your stage. Never-needing self-emotion non-affected. My silence doesn’t sting like yours. Inconsequential sounds. From my lips. What if I’m the one you hate? The one whom you don’t choose. There’s another who loves your love greater than I can admit. Where my attraction has faded. Where I watch her feed on your bounty. Where I starve and weaken. But I won’t cry or lift a knife. It’s who you are. What if I am angry? That your love doesn’t care. Sinai and Calvary wrestle on the ladder. And I’m a mess in the between. You forge ahead, the uncaring timeline. Because you’re always right. And good. What if I am yours? And know I can’t escape. That I will choose the wrong. And you will choose to hunt me. That I will play the whore. And you’ll still dress and clothe me. That I can’t unbelieve. Even if I want to.
Prayer includes asking the hard questions of ourselves, and of our God. And what if I believe too much? Jesus was also mocked for such ridiculous trust in his Almighty Father. Christ frees us to speak the unspeakable, without fear. (What are Lyrics of Conviction?)
REFLECT
on the Words that God first gave to us. Meditate on the Truth that has made any of our words mean anything…
READ Psalm 23
READ Psalm 39:4-11
READ Romans 9:6-16
READ Hebrews 12:1-2
Lyrics of Conviction
It has been said, no one ever steps in the same river twice, as the water moves on and on. You, also, touch these flowing moments of a river at different points of your life as you grow, are destroyed, and change. Words, like water down the banks, also trickle over us throughout our lifetime. Not that words are physically moving, but the words flow from…
I've read this powerful poem/prayer a few times and that last stanza kills me every time. What a great image of the unreasonableness of God's mercy. Thank you for this!
That our God who would be right not to consider us, to be inconsiderate, would extend His hand of mercy to us, that His only Son would extend his hands on the cross, also seems too much.
His abundant mercy seems wasteful, broadcasting the seeds of faith on all kinds of ground.