YHWH, do not in your anger, reprove me. And do not, in your wrath, discipline me.
I know what’s coming. What should be coming. I have a ridiculous faith that trusts in YHWH and at the same time despairs of everything that I have done. I am afraid of the wrath of God. Because I know how much I deserve it. I’m scared and I don’t want to face up to it. To Him.
Be gracious to me, YHWH, because I am feeble. Heal me, YHWH, because my bones are panicked.
Be gracious to me. Heal me. Fix me. Make this right because I can’t. I am too weak. I am too broken. I am too sinful. And my bones shake inside. Of my body. The foundation of who I am quivers in terror. I meet you now. In my humility. In my pain. In my failures.
My whole being is terribly panicked.
Not just my bones, my body. Not just my soul and heart. Not just my logical mind. It all quivers and shakes. Because it is too much for my body and soul.
But you, YHWH—How Long?
I am waiting for an answer. How long until you answer me. I wait. I am tired. I am wasting away. How much longer until there is noting left of me. How much longer do I have to sit and wait with no answer. My words are short, because there is nothing left to say. How Long?
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