I used to believe that I had to forget someone’s sin to actually forgive them. I thought I had to forget completely that there was an offense done to me, that the slate was wiped clean, and that we were starting over again from scratch.
And I found I could do that, sometimes. Forget. When the trespass was small. When someone forgot my birthday or misplaced my book. I could forgive that. But the bigger the grievance the harder it was to forget. Even though I said those words out loud, “I forgive you.” I didn’t feel like I could ever forget what that person had done.
I couldn’t forgive and forget.
These two ideas have been entwined for the Christian as if they are the same action. But forgetting is not the same as forgiving. You can forgive someone while remembering the hurt and the pain. And yes, you can choose to forget something that someone has done, but still hold them in the bondage of their sin. So what does it mean to forgive? What is our duty as Christians? Most importantly, what does the Bible say?
Jesus tells his followers that they should pray to God for forgiveness. They should pray like this: “Forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors.” (Matthew 6:12) We find this prayer echoed on our own lips when we also pray the Lord’s Prayer. When we understand the depths of our forgiveness from God, then we can begin to understand how to forgive another person.
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